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Life is Crap: The Clown is Back

Coulrophobia. The fear of clowns has been around since the days of court jesters. It became a part of my life when I was about five years old. My aunt was babysitting me one night and was so excited for us to have movie night. She was premiering Stephen King’s It. I really hated it when she got to babysit. I don’t remember a lot about my kindergarten year, but I remember that clown. She and my mother fight to this day about her letting me watch Pennywise kill and torment the children of Derry. 

As I got older, the fear stayed with me. I was terrified when that movie Gacy came out in 2003. With It, I could still relate the clown to being “just a movie,” but Gacy made it real. I am a grown up now. I cannot handle doing life while looking over my shoulder for a killer clown! Of course, this is what I told myself, to cope, until last year, when the damn clown sightings and murders took over the news! I was so scared, I did not allow my children to trick-or-treat. I told them they did not want to end up like Georgie. 

Now, it is 2017 and Halloween is right around the corner. What’s popping up everywhere? Red balloons with the new, improved, Pennywise hiding behind them. I cannot escape the clowns! My therapist, aka Dr. Phil, says I need to face my fears head on. Take control of my life. So, when my teenage son begged for me to take him to see the new version of my old fear, I considered it. 

Teenagers these days don’t just go see a movie. They watch every trailer, then watch “the making of”, then they watch other people talk about what they expect of the movie. They will research movies and life hacks for days on end, but try getting them to read a book! My teenager assured me that it would be a well made, funny movie and it would probably help me get over my phobia. That’s what I get for listening to a teenager.

The new movie is too well made. My stomach did back flips from the realistic gore. I was so tense the entire time, if I would have had a lump of coal up my ass I would have shit diamonds. I screamed bloody murder on purpose, hoping to embarrass him so we could leave, but he just thought it was awesome. I’m finally able to sleep without a night light, only to find out that It Chapter 2 comes out September 6, 2019. Life is crap

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