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DIY Disfunction: Halloween Edition

Every Halloween I buy my kids overpriced, badly made costumes and regret it. When I see the kids whose mothers spent under $10 on a handmade masterpiece, I find myself with the urge to deny them candy, or just give them those weird taffies no one likes. I know I shouldn’t take it out on the children, but they’re cute little reminders of my parental inadequacies. I try to pretend not to care about keeping up with the Joneses, but the truth is, I do. I want to make other moms jealous of my awesome life skills, while of course, creating priceless memories and all that.

Going For It!

So, after many hours of perusing Pinterest and countless DIY videos, I decided to create my kids’ Halloween costumes. Full of do-it-yourself confidence, I made a long list of supplies to make a poodle skirt for my daughter and transform my son into Pennywise the clown. After visiting three craft stores and spending almost $100, I was finally ready to begin.

Over the next week I spent many, many hours poking myself with needles, burning myself with hot glue, and destroying my dining room table. It was the most painful act of love I’d made since childbirth. 

Mixed Results 

The skirt for my daughter came out a little bloody and far from perfect because I hand stitched it and I stuck myself a million times, but I ended up proud of the results. She thought the skirt was too long but otherwise loved it.

My son’s Halloween costume was much more complex. It required a lot of sewing and I had to glue the orange fuzzy hair to a bald cap because I was NOT going to spend another $50 on the mask. Every time I sat down to work on the project, I told myself how satisfying it was going to be when the neighboring “competition” caught a glimpse of my handy work. The finished product left me battered and way over budget, but I gained a sense of accomplishment that I thought I would never forget. 

The next morning, when I showed my teenager the work of art, he told me that he’s too old to dress up and refused to even try on the outfit! I don’t even want to know how those other mothers make it look so easy anymore. Next year my son's out of luck, I'm giving out all taffy candies, and my daughter can wear the Halloween Spirit costume of her choice. Plus Halloween sucks.

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