SALE: 20% OFF Today - Use Code CRAP20

3 Compelling Reasons Boating Totally Sucks

Summer is quickly approaching, and I dread every invitation to go boating. Family members and my best friends I still hang out with since high school all love boating in various forms. Some like to sail, some like to skim over water at terrifying speeds in powerboats, but most like to fish. I have had the misfortune to experience terror on waters in all of these kinds of boats.

Capsizing a Sailboat is Expected!

Sailboats of every kind can be expected to capsize at some point, according to experts. No one told me this when I went sail boating with a slightly older friend as a teenager. I regrettably trusted that he knew what he was doing. The mistakes made were many on that sunny summer day during which we baked. There was no sense of navigation and we strayed too far from the shore. I thought capsizing in a gusty wind would be the most terrifying part of the nightmare, but I was wrong. We sat on the bottom of the boat stranded for hours while no one passed near us. Visions of the movie Jaws kept my heart beating at a very fast pace. Finally, some fishermen came along and rescued us, including pulling the sailboat back to shore, after helping to flip it right-side-up. That’s the last time I got on a sailboat.

Powerboats are Treacherous

Few people are race car drivers because it’s a very dangerous profession. The same standard should apply to powerboating. It’s like some major adventure thrill for people. Powerboats fly across the water and can flip as easily as a well-trained gymnast. Helmets should be required. My worst powerboat experience was also the only one. We didn’t crash or flip, but we seemed to be in constant peril of doing so. The driver seemed to imagine himself a stunt driver in a James Bond movie I would never want to see.

Fishing can Lead to Electrocution

A fishing boat shouldn’t be the setting for living terror, but it was for me one day in a big lake. My older brother, a cousin, and I went out in our little fishing boat, using the small motor and wearing our life jackets. Everything was going fine. We launched out for a tiny island across the lake, where there are lots of great fish hangouts near shore. It was far, for a group of kids. Suddenly, before we realized anything was going on, the sky went completely black and then it opened up, dumping out torrential rain. The winds were blowing from every which way. It seemed we would either be struck by lightning, we would capsize, or our boat would fill up with rain and lake water. We were not near the island. The closest shelter was a bridge, and we somehow managed to get the boat underneath it. We survived, but I always fish from piers now.

I may be lonely this summer, but at least I like books. While everyone else is boating, I’ll remain dry and read exciting adventures of sensible landlubbers.

Leave a reply